Thursday, February 25, 2010 ; 3:19 PM {♥}
Dearest Great-Grandma
U will always be remembered by me
23rd February 2010
Great Grandma passed away in her sleep in the morning.
I received a call from grandpa at 8:50-8:55am.
I knew something bad happened when i saw e no. on e caller ID.
Mum was abt to cry when she was e phone wif grandpa.
Dad woke up in a shock when mum tries to wake him up.
Mei thought i was joking wif her when i wake her up and told her abt e news.
ASAP , we changed and rushed down to TTS Hospital.
We waited so longgggg for a cab.
Half way through , Dad's hp keep ringing.
One after another.
And mum , was there so anxious , keep asking who called.
She was so afraid to hear dad's hp ringing cos it might juz be a call from grandpa wif a bad news.
However, e worst still came.
Dad answered a call from grandpa and say tt tai ma already gone.
Mum dropped her tears when she heard abt e news.
Mum almost quarrelled wif Dad for e idea of going to central to flag a cab would be easier.
I noe wat is going on.
Mum is feeling sad for nt being able to see tai ma b4 she's gone.
Finally , we reached hospital , skipped e registration but still they insists to take down IC.
That realli takes up alot of TIME.
Walking towards tai ma's bed, i was afraid to see her cos i noe i will cry and i hated to cry infront of anyone !
We took a look at her , oh my , she looks as though she is slping , i donno wat i can do and e veri last thing i noe i could do was to talk to her e last time , hopefully her soul is still in e room and could hear my words.
I stood beside her bed , hold her hands , it was already cold. Saw blueblack on her hands i feel so heartache. Then i speak to her in my heart , my last time talking to her.
" Tai Ma , don worry abt us. U rest in peace , peacefully go ba , go meet tai gong and ur son."
This was wat i told her. I feel she could hear me.
Dad walked off after taking a look at her , i turned over to look at my dad , tears was rolling down his face.
Mum and Mei cried too. I almost but i managed to hold it back.
I feel so so bad for nt making e trip down to see tai ma on monday.
Y am i always so lazy ? y didnt i go visit her ?
I always take her for granted when she is there for us.
I would have done better , i should have.
I should have visit her more often , keep her company.
I know she will feel happy if i were to visit her more often , talk to her , listen to her.
But i didnt.
However when i think again , i feel i m so much better comapred to others.
(Don wanna mention names , they noe who they are)
They make her feel so sad and ignores her time to time.
Nw tt she is gone , they cried.
I noe i m nt right to comment but i juz wanna pen down my thoughts.
Wat's e point to cry nw when u don even care abt her when she is around?
Anyway , i didnt managed to get away from work.
So i missed out e ceremony of putting Tai ma into e coffin.
Tai ma , i m sry for nt being there.
I hope u understand.
And lastly , i love u.
My parents and family loves u too.
U noe hw sad my dad was ? u saw it?
U saw hw sad my granny was ?
I hope ur departure was a happy one , cos u can finally end ur sufferings and don need to see those conflict but somehw we are all feeling sad and painful tt u're gone.
We all loves u , u noe who we are.
And i hope u can realli have a reunion wif tai gong and ur son , have u seen them?
Muacks, My Tai ma.
I'm yours & U're mine
